This is a post a long time in coming. I have been blogging now for years, probably since 2003 or so. When I first started, it was simply a way to communicate with other homeschooling/stay at home moms like me. This was before I knew what Facebook or Twitter ever were. I blogged when I could about our life and what we were doing–it was more like an online diary or letter to my family/friends scattered all over the world. I continued like that for many years. All though the tragedy of our son Gabriel, I blogged, and my blog grew and grew through that. At that time, my blog was a way for me to work through the sadness and my feelings about the situation. From there, it evolved into a sort of ministry. That wasn’t something planned, but that’s what it stared to become.
I came to feel that I had a responsibilbity to my readers that I needed to write certain types of posts and begain “instructing” other homeschooling wives and moms to live a more Godly homelife. The problem was that I was being influenced by some people that I shouldn’t have been influenced by. I have passed along false teaching–not out of heart to deceived, but as one being deceived. I bounced around from everthing from dresses only, headcovering/not headcovering, modesty, KJV only, etc, etc. My blogging has been a record of the struggles I’ve had with my Faith. I’ve grown and changed…and changed again…over and over. I’d slip into a “new” blog with each new incarnation. I evolved from a blogger simply blogging about my life, to a blogger trying to emulate those “big” bloggers that make a living with their blog.
But for me, making a living from my blog is not something that has worked out well…lol! I spend more to blog than I have ever made from blogging. The Lord has really shown me that my focus and motivation has been misguided. I’ve been hypocritcal. I’ve been misguided. I’ve been a false teacher. I’ve let the focus of my blogging become more vanity than God focused. I’ve let blogging consume too much of my time–taking time and resources away from the REAL ministry that the Lord desires from me–My Husband, My Kids, and My home. The balance between my real ministry and my blog has, more often than not, weighed more heavily on the blog side.
So, going forward, what am I going to do? Well for one thing, I will be closing down my current blog. I will move all the posts from all my blogs over to a free blog host, most likely blogger. I will close down all my other past blogs and cancel my webhosting–all domain names will point to that blog (until they expire, at which time they will not be renewed). This new blog will serve as an archive only. I will not be updating this blog at all. This will save our family money each month.
Will I blog regularly again? Yes. How often I’ll update? I honestly don’t know. I will only blog when I honestly have the time between, husband, home, children, homeschooling, farm–my real life. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly–I honestly don’t know. All I do know, is that blogging has become a chore. Not a chore I look forward to, but one that I drag my feet kicking and screaming to do. Instead of feeling obliged to post every single day, I will go back to the way I first began blogging.
I’m no longer going to *try* to be a “big mommy blogger” or a “big food blogger”. I’m going to take back my blogging and just be *ME*–warts and all. I will no longer be only blogging through rose colored glasses. My life is FAR from perfect and I honestly am tired of bloggers that make everthing look perfect, making other women (their readers) feel like failures because they can’t achieve that perfection–in their marriage, children, home, and faith. Do you know how humbling it is for me to admit that I’ve been a part of the problem? I’ve been just as bad at making my life/home seem like they are perfect. If I’ve ever made you feel like a failure because you couldn’t achieve the perfection I was promoting, then I am honestly sorry. It’s not that I sit down and type a blog post filled with outright lies, but because I only posted about the “Perfect”, I know that it may have led others to believe that I have a perfect life. While everything I posted about was true–I left out part of the story. I wasn’t being completely honest by portraying the perfect alone, I needed to balance it with the not-so-perfect.
This new and honest me can admit, that like MANY other stay-at-home wives/moms, that the internet has become an interference to my true ministry. I will be stepping back, not just from blogging, but also from the internet in general. I will be less on Facebook, I will be deleting all accounts/pages except for my personal one. I will be leaving some of my Facebook groups. I will be closing down my Twitter accounts entirely (I just have never gotten into it). I will close down all Pinterest accounts but my personal one. I will be closing all Google + accounts (again, just never gotten into it). As for social networks, I will be sticking to just personal Facebook and Twitter accounts. Not only that, but I will begin weeding through my Facebook account and deleting “friends”–many of whom I do not personally know and have absolutely no interaction with, but have friended me because of my blogs, my old digital scrapbooking persona, my other businesses, and I will be deleting “friends” who I feel are bad influences, either in the way they live or their false teachings.
As for my doTERRA business, I will be keeping a Facebook group open for that, but my “Essential Traditions” page will be closing. I will also continue my weekly newsletter for subscribers and customers. The group that will be staying open is at https://www.facebook.com/groups/545384612187870/
As for now, there is not yet a “NEW” blog for you to read. I may work on that this week–again, I may not. It honestly depends on what fall on my plate this week. Wherever it will be, I will be using the www.susangodfrey.com domain name, simply because I already have it and hey, it *is* still me :) But until that domain name gets forwarded, you can find the blog at http://susangodfreyblog.blogspot.com/
This decision is bittersweet. I use to enjoy blogging and I want to get to that point again. But I’m no longer going to try to blog by other’s standards, no longer worry about the number of readers or how to “grow” my blog, no longer worry about how to make money or build up my “brand”. I’m going back to the very beginning–to the blogging that I enjoyed.
Thank you everyone for walking this walk with me. I’ve met so many wonderful friends through the years and I still value those of you who have “stuck”. Thank you for the love and support you have shown me over these last many years.