{ Weekend Update }

We had a really good and productive weekend! Friday night we had a thunderstorm and apparently it fried my network card on my computer so I have no internet on my computer. I’m having to use my husband’s ancient laptop to access the internet. I can’t upload the pictures from the camera, so I’ll do it when Marty gets my network card changed out (we have a working one from an older computer). Hopefully he’ll get it done this evening….I miss my computer 🙂

Saturday morning we did our usual thing of going out for breakfast tacos and then hitting the flea market, thrift shops & garage sales. At the flea market, I got a couple of canisters & big glass jars for storing our bulk supplies. At the thrift shop I got some more glass jars & canisters, as well as some training pants for Riley (we’re going to start potty training him). We then stopped at the grocery store, they were having a really good sale. We picked up 20 lbs. of hamburger, 4 pkg. of smoked sausage, 12 packages of cheese, 4 packages of cereal, and 2 cartons of orange juice. We got all of this for $42!! After that we stopped at a garage sale where we made out like bandits! We found a cute playhouse for Riley, a mattress for Riley and 2 potties for Riley (one sits on the toilet and one if free standing). We got these all for $27!! Riley LOVES his playhouse…I’ll post pictures as soon as I can! We then came home and unloaded everything. We cut the meat up into 1-3/4 lb. chunks, so we have 12 meals worth of hamburger. I had to clean out the freezer so we could fit it all in and now it’s stuffed to the gills again!

After that, it was lunch time so we decided to go eat lunch in Hillsboro and run a few more errands. We stopped at the new health food grocery there and looked around….the prices were pretty good, so I think we’ll go back. We then went to eat at Arby’s. Then off to Walmart. Marty bought me this really neat tripod for my camera…it was on clearance for only $8!! Then it was back to the house to do some work around the house and then we fixed hamburgers for dinner.

Sunday we woke up late, so didn’t make it to church. Marty took me to a late breakfast at the taco place, then we ran a few more errands. Back at home, we worked a little more around the house and picked the garden. We now have 5 gallons of tomatoes in the freezer, 1 gallon of jalepeno peppers, 1 gallon hot banana peppers, and almost 1 gallon of bell peppers. We still have about another gallon of picked tomatoes to put up, we’re just waiting for them to ripen. This picking, we got some of our heirloom yellow tomatoes…pictures coming soon! Then I laid down with Riley and we both took a nap! AFter that we ran into town to get some sodas and on the way home we stopped at another garage sale. We bought a BUNCH of canning jars and 43 back issues of this magazine called Organic Gardener. Turns out that the people having the garage sale are originally from the town that Marty & I grew up in and they knew both of our Dads…small world! Well then we went back home and ate dinner and did some more work around the house. We decided to go to bed early and we all crashed!

Today has been pretty quiet so far. I need to do some laundry and do some house cleaning. I’m going to the doctor of Thursday, so please keep us in your prayers then. I’m not looking forward to having to drive 1-1/2 hours each way just to visit the doctor and I’m not sure how we’re going to afford it either, but I guess I have no choice, and God will provide a way. I had a little crying jag Sunday at the grocery store. We had to walk down the baby aisle to get something for Riley. I saw that they had started carrying organic baby food and got all excited, until it hit me that this baby will not be needing baby food. I forget sometimes what’s going on with my baby…kind of sad, but it happens usually when I see something that I really wanted for the baby….like a really cute outfit or things like that. Then I remember and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

Well I need to get busy and get some stuff done…I’ve already spent more time than I needed to on the computer. Hopefully I’ll get the pictures up this evening for y’all!

Hugs & Blessings!
Susan

{ Made a Big Dent! }

I’ve been working like a mad woman today on my living room. I am happy to say that I’ve made a huge dent in the mess!! Wahoo!!! I still have a lot to do before we can rearrange everything, but I’m hoping to have the room ready to do it by the time Marty get’s home from work. Boy, he’s going to be plesantly surprised! If I can get this room totally knocked out, then we can work on the kitchen this weekend and hopefully get it knocked out as well. Next week, while Colt’s gone to Grandma’s, we’re going to clean up his room, toy box & closet. I’m also going to work on our room, the hall and the bath. I would love to have this house sparkling before Colt gets home from Grandma’s!

Well, I need to fix lunch for Riley and myself and then get him down for a nap. After he’s down for his nap, I’ll try to work some more on the living room.

I think we’re going out to dinner tonight, so I need to work in a shower between now and then. I’ll need it after all this cleaning! Tomorrow, we’re taking some friends out to Homestead Heritage for lunch and to browse around. I love it out there…so peaceful!

I also did a little more work on my blog template. I made it where people can leave comments, as well as added recent posts & archives to the left sidebar. I’m slowly but surely learning my way around Blogger’s coding 🙂 I also cleaned off my computer desk and got it back in order…it was driving me crazy!

Well off to fix lunch and keep Riley out of the bathroom sink…he keeps playing in the water 🙂

{ My Aching Back! }

Well, I managed to get 2 loads of laundry done so far today, but I don’t think I’ll be getting much of anything else done. I think I over did it yesterday and today and pulled a muscle in my back. I can barely stand to pick up a basket, let alone stand and hang much. I’m exhausted. I had a lot of plans of what I wanted to get done today, but I guess they won’t get done.

I”ve also started workning on my Home Management Binder. I’ve gotten the cover done and my Master schedule done. I’m just working on it a little everyday.

Well, I’m going to lay down and take a nap with Riley. Have a great day everyone!!

{ 4 Loads of Laundry Done!! }

4 loads of laundry done!! I just was cleaning off the camera and ran across some pictures I thought I’d post.

Riley playing at Lake Aquilla

Marty’s fish he caught on his new fly rod he got for his birthday

Riley checking out Dad’s big fish

Riley wearing jester hat at my Mom’s

Colt wearing jester hat at my Mom’s

Riley taking a nap this afternoon

Hugs & Blessings!
Susan

{ Up Bright & Early }

I’m up bright and early this morning! On today’s schedule, I need to tackle Mt. Washalot and do some house cleaning, both never ending battles. My Mom & Dad picked up Colt last night, so it will be just me and Riley around here today. Riley likes to help Mommy, so that’s a big plus!

I may try to slip in little designing today, but I’m not counting on it. I’m going to be really busy trying to catch up with my household chores. I’d like to a least pick out some colors for my next kit.

I know….some really exciting stuff going on here , but life is at least returning to normal a bit. Regardless of what else is going on, the house still needs to be cleaned, laundry done, meals fixed, diapers changed….life has to go on!

Hugs & Blessings!
Susan

{ Questions About Our Baby and Situation }

I wanted to answer some of the questions and comments that I’ve been receiveing on various topics regarding our decision and our baby.

Q: Can the baby receive a kidney transplant to save his life?
A: Unfortunately, no. Because the baby does not have kidneys, he does not urinate. Because he does not urinate, there is no amniotic fluid (which is mostly urine). The baby breathes in the amniotic fluid and it’s needed for lungs to form, so when there is none, the lungs do not form or do not form properly. The majority of Potter’s Syndrome babys actually die due to lung problems, so a kidney transplant would be useless.

Q: Is Potter’s Syndrome genetic?
A: No one really knows, but it is suspected to be in some families. Generally, it’s suspected to just be a fluke, at least in most cases. It is really pretty rare for it to happen twice in one family, as in our case. That’s why the research that the University of Michigan is so important. I do believe that in our case that there is a genetic link. We lost our son Daniel to it in 1997 and we have also discovered that my Mother’s 1st cousin was born with only 1 kidney. I’m still waiting to hear what the official diagnosis of Mom’s 1st cousin is.

Q: Why are you making final arrangements? Do you not have faith in God to heal your baby?
A: Yes, I do have faith. If God can create the entire world in 7 days and raise the dead, he can create kidneys for my baby. But, for me, part of the greieving process involves preparing for the future, whatever it may be. I am praying for a miracle, but we must also prepare for the worst as well. Final arrangements are no easy thing and financially we are unprepared for them. We need to prepare these things in advance so if and when the time comes we can use the time to grieve not plan. We also feel that with these plans in place and discussed with family and doctors, it will be easier for our wishes to honored.

Q: I don’t know how you can handle the expectation of losing your baby following delivery, wouldn’t termination be easier in the long run?
A: First of all, this child does not belong to us. This child is God’s, as are all children. God is just generous enough to loan them to us for a while. Sometimes that means a lifetime and sometimes that means just minutes. I will treasure every minutes that I spend with this child. And if the time comes that I need to give this child back to God, then I will do it gladly, knowing that someday I will see this precious baby again. This child is a gift! How can I even consider terminating a child that doesn’t even belong to me, a child that’s being loaned to me as a very special gift. Everytime I feel this child move within me…I feel love. God has granted me this child for a reason and I’m not going to waste one minute of it…I’m going to enjoy him as long as possible.

Q: How is it you’re able to handle this situation so calmly…I’d be a basket case?
A: Simple really…God is carrying us through this situation. It’s an example of God’s Grace in action. There is no way we could do this without the Hand of God guiding us and giving us comfort.

Q: What have you told your other children about this situation? How are they dealing with this?
A: My 13 year old knows the whole story. This is the 2nd time he’s gone through this. We lost Daniel when Colt was 4 years old, and he wasn’t quiet old enough to quite understand what was going on. At 13, he now fully understands what is going on and is grieving in his own way. It has mostly been exhibited by hyperactivity, keeping his feelings inside and anger. He has finally started to breakdown some and talk about everything, so we know he’s dealing with it pretty well. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open and to talk freely about it. Riley is 2-1/2 years old and I really don’t know how much he understands. He knows there’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy, and he love to kiss on the baby. We’ve tried to explain to him that Mommy is having a baby, but that the baby may not be able to live with us. That the baby may need to live with God. He does know something is up, when he sees Mommy & Daddy crying and he tries to help by passing out hugs and kisses…sometimes even crying with us. He just doesn’t understand the concept of death yet

{ Faith Will See Us Through }

I’m doing really well this morning! Last night Colt finally broke down and cried. We had a wonderful family talk and I’m releaved that it finally happened. Colt really needed to cry and start the grieving process. He’s much calmer today and I’m thankful for that!

This is a post I made on a message board today, but it sums up our feelings on the matter of termination/abortion. I can’t believe the number of people who have actually asked when we were going to terminate…it’s like carrying to term shouldn’t even be an option or they don’t even consider it an option! One family member actually feels that we were making the wrong desicion to carry to term and strongly believes I should have my tubes tied following this. I know these people mean well, they’ve just been so indoctornated into the world’s way of thinking.

Abortion is wrong, period. I’m in an unique situation. I am carrying a baby with birth defects incompatable with life. My baby is going to die. But while in my womb my baby is alive…how can I choose to terminate a life that I know is there…that I feel moving everyday. For whatever reason, the Lord gave us this child and I’m going to spend every moment that I have with him/her that I can and make sure that he knows that he was loved. If the Lord does not want me to carrry this baby to term, then HE will end the pregnancy. When you abort a child, you take away the Lord’s control. You are telling God that you don’t trust Him or His desicions. Trust the Lord with all your heart! I don’t know why this is happening to us, but I know that all things work for the Glory of God! I wouldn’t trade a minute of this baby’s life for anything! Just my humble opinion…may be hormonal/emotionally induced 🙂

I’m going to trust the Lord in this matter, His way is perfect and though I may never understand why this is happening to us, I do know that the Lord has a plan and that this sad event in our lives will work for His Glory!

{ A Rough Morning }

Boy this morning has been rough! I just can’t seem to get up the gumption to do much of ANYTHING! Emotional rollercoasters are exhausting! I have gotten 2 loads of laundry washed & hung, so I guess that’s something. I really want to curl up on my bed and sleep for a week (or cry…I volly back and forth between wanting to sleep & cry!). I’ve got to get out of this frame of mind! It’s not doing me or my family any good. I’m taking things slowly, taking things moment by moment. I’m about to fix lunch for me and the kids, then I may try to get in a little nap, if I can get Riley to lay down too.

Tomorrow will be better. I will have the car and have some errands to run, so I’ll get out of the house and my mind will be busy. We all need a break. Colt’s exhibiting his stress/grief through grumpiness and hyperactivity. He’s bouncing off walls and talking non-stop. Marty keeps so much of it inside, but he’s grumpy and easily set off by the kids. Riley…he just doesn’t really understand what’s going on. He sees Mommy crying and all he knows to do is pass out hugs and kisses, that or cry with her 🙂 We’re doing okay and we’re each working through this the best we can

{ A Bittersweet Blessing }

I laid in bed this morning for a long time, feeling the baby move around. It’s amazing, that while in the safety and comfort of my womb, my child can live! Under my heart, my baby lives and grows. GOD IS SO GOOD! It’s a blessing to have this time with him/her….a bittersweet blessing, but a blessing none the less. Life is a miracle, no matter how long it lasts. God’s timing is perfect and I’m so thankful that he’s created a safe environment for my little one to grow in and experience what little life he/she will have. Minutes or hours, it doesn’t matter, this child’s short life is a blessing!

{ Quick Baby Update }

Quick update. I talked to my doctor and we will be having all further prenatal appointments with the specialist we saw yesterday. This means driving to Fort Worth (about an hour & a half away), several times a month. The baby will be delivered at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth so we will be close to Cook Children’s Hospital. Unless the baby comes on his/her own, we will most likely induce labor 1-2 weeks before my due date of September 23rd. This will be to ensure that we are able to deliver at Harris, which is a bigger hospital than our little county hospital, and has all the medical equipement needed for this special delivery. Our little county hospital, while excellent, just doesn’t have the resourses need for this sort of thing.

I also talked to the people doing the research for Potter’s Syndrome at the University of Michigan. They do want us to participate in the research and will pay for everything that they need from us. So we will be able to help maybe find out more about Potter’s! This means a lot to us, as this is our 2nd Potter’s baby!

I’m waiting to hear back from the funeral home on the cost of infant cremation. We’ve decided to plant a memorial garden in our front yard to honor our precious angels in heaven. But will most likely not plant it until next spring.